Fair warning– this article is going to be a lot like reading The Bachelor. There is going to be tons of drama. A little bit of cattiness. And a lot of unsheathed claws. And it is for you my amazing ThemeParkHipster that I am going to brave this storm and find out: Alright folks, lets meet our theme park contestants! They each will give a short speech about why they are in the running to be the...